From ages 16-21 I was completely self-motivated. And then I found the one thing I wanted to do for the rest of my life and now nothing in the world seems tolerable.
But, for my sake and my family’s— I have to grow up.
But before I do, I’m going to rant.
Self-sabotage. Totally guilty of it. But I’m beginning to think it’s not even my fault. There are some situations that can’t be fixed. No matter what angle you look at it, there are no solutions and you simply have to just give up and do it the hard way.
But it feels like life is never easy until the very end. (That sounds morbid but don’t take it that way.) I mean that life is super hard so it can build you up and strengthen you, and once you’ve learned all that you can you reap the benefits. For most people anyway. Some people don’t ever reap the benefits.
But then we form this complex of thinking that life will never allow us to be completely happy. If everything is going right then something is wrong. Something bad is on it’s way to mess everything up just to see you pick the pieces back up again. And that whatever isn’t perfect in life were supposed to just accept it and deal with it. It’s not fixed, were not happy with it, we just deal with it. Because it’s there. So that’s why we self-sabotage.
That’s why I do, anyway. It’s my big middle finger to fate, destiny, the universe, what have you. You don’t control my life, I do.